Brainstorming POW Associations

Brainstorming Is The Tedious, Time-consuming Process which eventually uncovers a new play-on-words (POW). Humor writers spend more energy in word play than they do in foreplay.

The procedure seems simple enough. You take the main subject and break it down into groups of associated activities, then rearrange these groups into smaller and smaller subsections.

Regardless of your humor assignment, the technique is the same.

To show you how this works, let's imagine you need to write material on golf, a favorite topic for humorists because so many VIPs play golf.

The first rule is to chart the subject. On a piece of paper (or in the case of golf, four or five pieces of paper), divide the subject into different headings. For example:

1. Golf equipment

2. Golf course

3. Golf play

4. Golf players

Now chart each heading with as many subheads as you can think of, and keep adding to the list every time you have another brainstorm. Don't censor yourself. The quantity of ideas is important here; quality comes later.

Therefore, under golf equipment we might list:

flag

cart

tees

caddy

headcovers

lucky ball

clubs

balls

bag

shoes

scorecard

optic yellow

clothes

hats

socks

gloves

glasses

Argyle socks

spikes

pencil

cap

rake

towels

ball washer

That's not good enough. We can break down the clubs into another major subdivision:

driver woods irons wedge putter

And, of course, even the woods and the irons can be listed by numeric designation: two wood, nine iron, etc. That's only category one (golf equipment). Now do the same with category two, golf course.

country club

18-hole course

9-hole course

dogleg

men's tee

women's tee

pro tee

trees

fairway

green

clubhouse

rough

woods

lake

apron

sand trap

divots

practice green

bunker

driving range

19th hole

groundskeeper

locker room

shower

out-of-bounds

ball wash

water hazard

And now with category three, golf play:

score par birdie stroke eagle bogie hole-in-one Mulligan handicap "fore"

lost balls drop ball foursome play-through tournaments double bogie

Pro-Am championship trophy skyball hook slice shank chip

Finally, with category betting

Nassau hobby exercise curses cheating pros hackers lessons disgust foursome opponents

double-up duffer fanatics pair bragging hustler amateurs sandbagger expense slicer partners hooker

The next part of the chart is a list of as many cliché expressions as possible associated with each entry. For example, in category one (equipment) we could list:

Clubs

Got a new set of clubs He hit a 300 yarder Make a six-footer Practice swing She knows how to putt

Balls

They've gotcha by the balls Kiss his balls for good luck She addressed the ball He lost his balls Keep your eye on the ball Don't stand too close to the ball Hit a pair of beautiful balls

That's not his bag She's a bag lady In the bag

And in category two, golf course, a suggested list of cliché expressions might include:

Name of the game How many strokes per round Let's play a round Great way to meet people She gave the caddy a tip A rich man's sport

In categories three, play, and four, players, you might include:

He knows the score

It was a playable lie

It's a gimme

She got out of the trap

I lie three

He's a poor sport

She moved heaven and earth

What's par for the hole?

That shot was a prayer

She shoots in the low 70s

He's a scratch player

He's a hooker

She's a sheer

She's a weekend hacker The woods are full of them He got out of a hole He got distance off the tee How do you like the greens?

As you read over the list you can already see a number of humor possibilities, particularly with double entendres. Now is the time to list double en-tendres, synonyms, antonyms, and homonyms that have a connection with golf. Here's a sample list.

Double Entendres

Golf words or expressions that have two or more meanings:

hole

sport

hooker

trap

ball

nine holes

lie

socks

lost ball

hole in one

out-of-bounds

tip

play

play through

lucky ball

bag

birdie

putt

slicer

stroke

swing

scratch

rough

handicap

game

make

a six-footer

score

long ball hitter

Two or more words that have approximately the same meaning. Some golf synonyms:

club = sticks oath = curse good shot = beauty putt = tap lake = drink locker room = showers par = scratch green = carpet hat = cap drive = tee-off bar = 19th hole gimme = concede tip = gift away = longest distance

Antonyms

Words that have comparatively opposite meanings in golf:

birdie = bogie play = practice lost ball = found ball flubbed = on the nose tip = advice stand close = stand away opponent = partner match play = lowest score hold head down = hold head up wager = friendly game country club = public links men's tee = women's tee eagle = double bogie

Homonyms

Words used in golf that sound similar to other words:

fore = four, for, foreplay, foursome course = enter course (sign), intercourse, curse play a round = play around caddy = Caddy (Cadillac)

70s = 70s (Fahrenheit temperature)

putts = putz (Yiddish for penis)

Brainstorming

Brainstorming

Tap Directly Into Your Creative Mind... And Easily Access YOUR Million-Dollar Ideas Ideas are the lifeblood of success... and the best ideas originate with brainstorming. Brainstorming can help you successfully fix any problem, build any business, generate any plan, or develop any story. But the problem is that most people have no clue how to effectively brainstorm - either by themselves or with groups. You can waste a lot of time coming up with old, boring ideas that won't work... and the whole time you actually believe that you are brainstorming.

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