Exercise Get a Draft on Paper

In creating your first draft, you want to write with the organizational structure you've selected in mind. Are you going to adopt Brad's idea and start with a PAR paragraph followed by Q&A? Or are you going to use another structure or a combination of structures?

Remind yourself of the vocabulary that's best to use to reach Producers, as well as the words and phrases that are likely to speak to the other personality types. (If you need help, see Table 1.1 on page 9.) Focus on your starting point and get ready to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. Once you start, don't edit yourself, slow down, or stop until you're done or have run out of steam.

How'd you do? Did you get a draft on paper? Here's Brad's first draft:

Using proprietary stochastic simulation techniques, incorporating data collected from numerous sources of government and other public data information as well as data collected from interviews personally conducted by me and my staff, we learned without question that the bottom-line no-question absolute best choice for our new factory is

Georgia. To get a fresh view, one of my assistants met with a risk manager with no knowledge of the risks involved in doing business in either Florida or Georgia. From among the three finalists. Data is tested and proven. Objective too. Let me answer—anticipate—questions I think you're going to want to know the answers to.

Q: What data did you collect?

A: I collected data of all sorts from all sorts of data sources.

Q: Why is Georgia a better choice than Florida or Illinois? A: It's lower risk overall and in key specific areas including weather, transport and available labor.

Q: What's the most compelling benefit of choosing Georgia? A: Diversification. We need to mitigate against the chance of a problem in weather or labor unrest or zoning or taxation in Florida. If these problems occur in Florida, and we have more than one factory in Florida, it is easy to no doubt see the problem. Both factories is effected, not just one factory. If we have one factory only in Florida, and these factors change, not a problem. Or rather, not such a bad problem. Or actually, not likely to be such a bad problem. It's easy in retrospect to carefully understand why some of us lean toward selecting Florida but we should use objective, not subjective, criteria to make the decision. If we do that, we must go with Georgia.

Here are Brad's comments about his first draft: "I'm embarrassed to have you read it. It's terrible! But having said that, I can now say that it's also pretty good. By that I mean it provides some meat-and-potatoes content for me to work with."

What was your draft like? Brad's was just about the right length—280 words, or about one page. He made many grammatical errors, but he also made several excellent points. How did you do?

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