Exercise Clarity and brevity page

1. mature iron from muscle; iron that is from mature muscle.

2. chronic symptoms of depression; symptoms of chronic depression.

3. excretion of renal lithium; renal excretion of lithium.

4. In their abdomens, the three patients all had tumors that were confirmed to be metastatic and malignant. (Avoid saying "cases" had tumors.)

5. We examined various combinations of immunospecific drugs to see whether any inhibited leukocytes in the peripheral blood of humans. (Avoid saying a study "examines" something.)

1. These observations suggest a female sex pheromone. (Still marginally incorrect, for an "observation" can't suggest anything, but the meaning would be clear to readers.)

2. Following the outlined procedure might be wise.

3. The study shows an apparent link between cigarette smokingand lung cancer. (Longer but more technically correct: Based on this study, cigarette smoking and lung cancer may be linked.)

4. A cause-and-effect relationship appears likely.

5. The results indicate that the mixture was somewhat saturated with oil. OR On the basis of these results, the mixture was somewhat saturated with oil.

1. The new organism is green, round, 5x 10 mm, and active OR motile.

2. Twenty to thirty electrophoretic steps usually will be needed.

3. If we meet now about the data, consensus should be easy to attain.

4. The case load included 15 juveniles and 10adults. (By definition, juveniles are young and adults are mature; here, "case load" is not jargon, but specialized vocabulary of the field.)

5. Figure 1. Lateral white cells in abdominal ganglion of live cockroach. Ventral view, anterior at top. (Scale bar, 0.1 mm.)

6. The absence of color was unique.

7. To determine the organism's mobility, state-of-the-art equipment was used.

8. To understand the effects of heat on the organism, we plan to refrigerate it.

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