Exercise Practicing mixed corrections page

1. Comments: Wordy; change numbers to Arabic; use first person. Revision: We conclude that these mammalian cells have a limiting diameter of 16-20 A.

2. Comments: Subject-verb disagreement; use of passive could be changed. Revision: We studied the inhibitory activity of the various combinations and plotted isobolograms.

3. Comments: Wordy, awkward; "at. . . by" construction sounds like location; "increasing" may be interpreted two ways.

Revision: At the cell surface, EDTA increases cell wall permeability. (Remember not to start a sentence with an abbreviation.)

4. Comments: Wordy.

Revision: The pronounced heart lesions were measured.

5. Comments: Two meanings possible for "numerous" - many strains, or strains which have many individuals; incorrect use of italics and capitalization. An exception to the usual rule regarding diseases, Chagas is capitalized because it is derived from a proper noun, the name of its describer.

Revision: Many strains of T. cruzi cause Chagas disease.

6. Comments: A report of one's current research requires past tense; "irritated" gives sentence an amusing double meaning. (Author probably meant it in the sense of "inflamed," not "annoyed.")

Revision: Treatment stopped when fish showed signs of physical irritation.

7. Comments: Dangling phrase - whose middle legs, those of the wasp or those of the fly? Which does "ventrally" refer to? Scientific name needs italics. Progressive provisioner is an acceptable technical term.

Revision: A progressive provisioner, S. maculata carries flies beneath its body with its middle legs.

8. Comments: How can a figure be a fish? Does a pond have metacercariae or a gill cavity?

Revision: Metacercariae (arrow, Figure 24) were evident in the gill cavity of a cichlid fish found in a Florida pond.

9. Comments: Unnecessary words; measurements could be simplified. Revision: Mix 1.5 kg dye with 7 L water.

10. Comments: Generic names should be underlined or italicized. A list in which some items begin with a vowel and some do not requires an article with each; a series requires a comma before "and." If true, pluralization would make the sentence read more smoothly.

Revision: Fruits in the Artibeus diet included an orange, a pear, an apple, and a peach. OR Fruits in the Artibeus diet included oranges, pears, apples, and peaches.

11. Comments: Misplaced modifier, sounds like fish have cilia. Generic names should be underlined or italicized.

Revision: Ichthyophthirius is one of the few ciliated parasites infesting fish.

12. Comments: "Varying" means changing; authors probably meant "various." Use of "the authors" is unclear; if it means authors of this sentence substitute "we."

Revision: We found amorphous material of various densities.

13. Comments: "Equally" and "each" are redundant; "divided" has two meanings.

Revision: The animals were placed in 5 groups of 22.

14. Comments: Sounds like a magician, pulling swabs out of tracheas. Revision: With cotton swabs, we obtained tracheal samples.

15. Comments: Too much hedging; use present tense for published findings that can be generalized. The qualifiers "many" and "sometimes" (or "at times") both are needed to avoid changing the meaning.

Revision: Many of their published results indicate that MG organisms sometimes are transmitted poorly.

16. Comments: Misplaced phrase - feeds with resolution? Punctuation needed; active tense improves sentence.

Revision: We used HPLC, a technique with excellent resolution, to analyze aflatoxins in feeds.

17. Comments: Hiccups; redundancy; wordiness.

Revision: A possible cause is aflatoxin entering the bloodstream.

18. Comments: Wordy and pretentious. Revision: Too much sunlight can burn skin.

19. Comments: For a restrictive clause, "that" is preferable; passive, colorless verb; "continual" is used improperly; some redundancy.

Revision: When it circled, the horse was continuously lame.

20. Comments: Restrictive clause should not be set off by commas; rewording would make sentence read more smoothly.

Revision: The unexercised dogs housed in runs developed no clinical signs of heartworm disease.

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