Use appropriate nouns to talk about others

If you are talking about other people, things, or situations, use a name or description rather than "you." You can still keep the sentences short and active, as in Figure 8-4.

_ THE STUDENT MUST REGISTER AND THE FEE PAYMENT PROCESS STARTED BEFORE THE

©The original fir> t l-ay of olai^es each >.eme':>ter -?r the t uoem t vhll be ^jroeo froi. >

Is "the student" in the first '' - -.■■ ■— ..- ■ . . -. .. .:-.. , ; .■ ■■.■..■■■.■■■. ■:...-..

paragraph the same as

"you" in the second? ■"'■'''■

so at

www.storynet.org/etsu/2005/summer

A revision

I ^J Now it's clear that we are talking to the same person ■ and it's friendlier.

-You must register and arrange to pay for your classes before the first day of class If you don't, you will be dropped from the classes. We charge a late fee if you register or re-register after the first day of class.

You must also apply for admission and sign up for the class through Apply at Figure 8-3 Using "you" whenever you are talking to your site visitors makes information both friendlier and easier to grasp quickly.

American Museum o Natural History (¡D

ON EXHIBIT PUBLIC PROGRAMS PLAN TOUR VISIT SCIENCE SUPPORT AMNH KIDS & FAMILIES TICKETS SHOP

Exhibition Highlight*

P^PI Grow A Butterfly K^ffl Gardon

Downloadable Background*

THE Bl ' IT I RFl ^'CONSERVATORY Exhibition Highlights introduction | Anatomy | Architecture 1 Metamorphosis Defence I evolution | Ecology | Conservation

Introduction

Butterflies and moths make up a large group of insects known as the Order Lepidoptera (lep-i-DOP-ter*ah). The name—from the Greek lepido, "scale", andpferj, "wings"—refers to 3 prominent feature of adult butterflies and moths, the tiny scales (hat ooyer the wings and the rest of the body. -

Adult butterflies are wonderfully diverse in shape, sue, and oolor. Active during the day, they live almost everywhere around the world, from Arctic tundra to tropical rain forests.

There are more than 250,000 known species of Lepkloptera,-i3fwhich about 10,000 are butterflies. Based on their anatomy, butterflies are dassifled into five families. This exhibition features butterflies from three of the families: the Pieridae (PYAIR-l-dee), commonly known as whites and sulphurs; the Papiltomifae (pah-pill-ee-OM-i-dee), or swallowtails; and the Nymphalidae (nlm-FAL-1-dee), which Indudes rnorphos, longwmgs and others.

This page is about butterflies, so not having "you" here is appropriate.

Note how educational this is while still being easy to read.

A list would have worked well for the last sentence.

Figure 8-4 When giving facts, start with the topic - here, that's butterflies and moths. That sets the context for your readers and helps you write active sentences. www.amnh.org

Sound clips to hear the ( • • J uncommon words would SiX be a nice addition to this text.

A list would have worked well for the last sentence.

Figure 8-4 When giving facts, start with the topic - here, that's butterflies and moths. That sets the context for your readers and helps you write active sentences. www.amnh.org

0 0

Post a comment